Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How does one acquire holy water?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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