I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize