Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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