ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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