There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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