please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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