hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize