Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize