Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Randomize