hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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