Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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