i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize