Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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