im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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