Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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