When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
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My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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