oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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