The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
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Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
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Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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