i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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