Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize