I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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