One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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