Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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