butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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