i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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