How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize