Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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