is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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