nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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