My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize