we're blogging at a bar
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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