I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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