she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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