In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think im going to throw up on grandma
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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