Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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