On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize