things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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