Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
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