Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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