I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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