sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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