you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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