No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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