I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We are two peas in an std pod
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize