It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize