dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize