Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...

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  (718): There's a dildo in the cheerios box here... http://tfl.nu/sohe
  Replies (12) Good night (1194) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.

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  (501): My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog. http://tfl.nu/5h53
  Replies (18) Good night (951) Bad night (2117) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.

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  (206): I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days. http://tfl.nu/extb
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  (760): View more from California

  And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"

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  (760): And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV" http://tfl.nu/slsr
  Replies (12) Good night (622) Bad night (2584) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.

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  (651): make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS. (1-651): I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much. http://tfl.nu/xzl0
  Replies (40) Good night (3738) Bad night (4898) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.

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  (516): You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit. http://tfl.nu/xfz2
  Replies (17) Good night (1001) Bad night (3702) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how to spell recollection?

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  (724): You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there (412): You know how to spell recollection? http://tfl.nu/3vjh
  Replies (16) Good night (5337) Bad night (1278)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.

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  (215): I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart. http://tfl.nu/liah
  Replies (22) Good night (6843) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed

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  (303): He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed http://tfl.nu/muwj
  Replies (21) Good night (4978) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.

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  (818): I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them. http://tfl.nu/l7o1
  Replies (20) Good night (1134) Bad night (5956) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.

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  (773): grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet. http://tfl.nu/onit
  Replies (20) Good night (4942) Bad night (1036) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

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  (859): Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic http://tfl.nu/ciqa
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (1950) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout

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  (281): seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout http://tfl.nu/w9k1
  Replies (6) Good night (2336) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning

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  (615): Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning http://tfl.nu/j3ex
  Replies (7) Good night (1235) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

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  (469): Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS. http://tfl.nu/dcv0
  Replies (3) Good night (1400) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt

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