"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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