oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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