That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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